Mid-week Inspiration,

Very few people in my adult life have been able to work and enjoy it when others capable of working and a part of their lives were not working.  It doesn’t seem to matter whether the work is for money or not.  Home projects seem to be less fun for people when another is not in some way participating.  For me this has virtually never been a problem until I pick up a fiction book.

Two things seem to happen, first I become involved in something that is considered leisure and, second I become obsessed with the story.  It doesn’t have to be a good book, just something with a cohesive story line and I am gone. Barely functioning on the physical level, I find myself doing only what is absolutely necessary.

I don’t tend to be an idle person; my vacations are pretty much always working vacations. I don’t even visit people without a justification and I tend to last about an hour at the most in idle conversation. I presently have two streams of income; the first is this, being a minister and spiritual healing practitioner. 

My second job is as a contracted installer.  When I am not involved in one form of work I am involved in the other; for over twenty years this has been my preferred pattern.  So reading fiction has been my vacation, the only way I have truly found to escape.  It typically happens once in a couple years. 

Even though I may generally work ten to fifteen hours in a day for the rest of the year the sight of me sitting and reading for that length of time for a couple days has brought up much for myself and others.  I generally have to go into hiding when a good book finds its way into my hands; the good book delivered by the very person who then witnesses my obsession.

My compulsive need to complete a book once started has taught me much about myself, foremost it has taught me not to get too self righteous when I see others sitting when I am working.  It has also taught me to realize enjoyment in my work and from my work; the work I do is done because I love to do it.  I love to see the joy in others by the fruits of my work and I love to get lost in my work in the same way I can get lost in a book. 

My compulsive reading tendencies have also taught me to look closely at myself because as much as I become involved in a book I am still critically aware of my environment and the effect I have upon it.

I have spent a great deal of time in self analysis, coming to accept those addictive tendencies and move beyond them. 

I still have much to learn and grow through from these reading binges because at the end of theml I have still felt lingering guilt.  I have learned to laugh at myself, I have learned to give of myself, I have learned to give to myself and still there is more to learn.  Perfection is such a harsh measure to hold one-self up to yet ownership of our imperfections will be the only way to truly overcome them. 

One of my favourite quotes reads something like this: “The greatest glory of God is man, fully human, fully alive.”, I believe by Teilhard de Chardan.  For me this means in our search for perfection we must be able to revel in our imperfections.  As long as our intentions are harmless to others let us forgive ourselves and appreciate our being in our becoming.

In Love and Light,